Chayei Sara- Chesed, Eliezer, Noach and the value of harsh criticism
It all begins with an idea.
In this week's parashah, Abraham tasks Eliezer– the trusted Canaanite steward who runs Abraham’s household– with finding a suitable wife for Isaac.
Eliezer, we are told, resembles Abraham in many ways. The Midrashic text, Bereshit Rabbah, supports this:
“Abraham said to his servant, the elder [zekan] of his household” – as the appearance of his face [ziv ikonin] was similar to his.
“Who was in charge of everything that was his” – [this means] that he had full control over his evil inclination, just as he [Abraham] did. (Bereshit Rabbah 59:8, Sefaria Midrash Rabbah, 2022 translation)
At the same time, this same Bereshit Rabbah describes Eliezer as lacking Chesed (Kindness and love for others):
“The servant said to him” – that is what is written: “A trader, scales of deceit are in his hand; he loves to exploit [laashok ahev]” (Hosea 12:8). “A trader [kenaan]” – this is Eliezer, [who was a Canaanite]. “Scales of deceit are in his hand” – because he was sitting and deliberating about his daughter: Is she worthy [to marry Isaac] or is she not worthy? Laashok ahev – to exploit the beloved one [ahuvo] of the world, that being Isaac. He said: ‘“Perhaps [the woman] will not wish [to follow me]” and I will give him my daughter [in marriage].’ He [Abraham] said: ‘You are cursed and my son is blessed. The cursed do not cleave to the blessed.’ (Bereshit Rabbah 59:9, Sefaria Midrash Rabbah, 2022 translation).
Here, we associate the term “Cursed” with the transactional nature of Eliezer’s inquiry. This leads us to conclude that- beyond the cursed status of the Cannanite- Eliezer carried a personal curse resulting from his transactional nature- from a lack of Chesed.
Eliezer, a man who has controlled his evil inclination, who is competent and thorough in fulfilling orders, is nevertheless cursed with a lack of loving kindness.
This should remind us of Noach.
Noach too was incredibly competent and devoted to his tasks. We are told, however, that the Torah’s limiting description of Noach as "perfect in his generations” relates to Noach’s failure to warn those outside of his family about the impending flood. This focus on the task at hand (building the ark) rather than making sure to invite people into the ark reflects a lack of love and kindness. This contrasts with Abraham, who invites anyone who passes by to visit his home for a meal.
Now Noach is unfortunate. Exposed to the blinding radiance of God, he is unable to discern this fault in his own character. To give this some context, the Tanya suggests that different aspects of creation act (to use a metaphor) as blown glass vessels, each vessel having a different color and transmitting a different aspect of God. In Chasidic tradition, we read that the Patriarchs- Abraham, Isaac and Jacob- play a similar role. In this tradition, Abraham embodies the Godly aspect of Chesed, Isaac embodies Justice (Gevurah) and Jacob embodies Harmony (Tiferet). So, where Noach may have been blinded by the unfiltered light of God, this same light, cast through Abraham, is shielded and softened, taking on the color of Chesed. This allows Eliezer to see his own faults.
An Eliezer chooses to do exactly this, in the most amazing way.
Here we have a trusted servant, a slave who spends at least 70 years at Abraham’s side. He fights in the war of the 5 Kings (Talmud Nedarim 32a), he knows Abraham before Abraham enters into the covenant with God, and he is at one point the heir to Abraham’s household (Genesis 15:2)
And then Ishmael is born and Eliezer is no longer heir to the household
Then Isaac is born and Eliezer is truly no longer the heir.
And he is reminded by Abraham, (in commentaries on this week's parshat) that he is a Canaanite servant and truly not a member of Abraham's family and that his daughter cannot marry Isaac.
What would we do in this situation, what would our mental state be? 70 years of service! Many of us would reassert ourselves. We would quit the service. If a slave we might arrange it so that we become maimed and are released. Remember that Eliezer is also given great riches and a deed showing that all of Abraham’s assets had been transferred to Isaac. Like Laban, he might have plotted to seize these assets and establish himself elsewhere. He has the opportunity to cut and run.
On the other side, we might become more robotic. The self would be fully extinguished. We would live to follow instructions and pass the time in obedience. Plenty of people do this as well. It is safer but the soul still gutters and dies out.
Eliezer does neither of these things. Instead he prays and takes an oath.
Oaths, in this parashah, provide a vantage point. They act as the mountain peak that allows the oath-taker to survey the surrounding land. Abraham, for example, frames his Oath in terms of Adonoy, the God of Heaven and Earth
“I will have you swear by Adonoy, God of heaven and God of earth, that you will not take a wife for my son from the daughters of the Canaanites, among whom I live.”
Eliezer could have used this phrasing as well when he enters the City of Nahor and again when he speaks to Rebekah and again when he recounts his journey to her brother Laban.
It is also possible that Eliezr might have prayed to the God of Noach. He is, after all, not a part of Abraham’s family.
Each of these approaches would have given Eliezer a different vantage point and would have given him some context other than service to Abraham. I can imagine some tension here, not to quit or commit theft but to claim some ground, some portion of the peak for yourself, to find some independent ground that could support a new and safer version of the self.
Eliezer does none of these things. Instead he treats Abraham as a conduit for the Divine will of God. The request that he has received is not a request from Abrhaham per se. It is a request from God carried by Abraham- a Divine Vessel– and given the color of Chesed.
To this end, he prays at the well.
“And he said, O Lord God of my master Avraham, I pray Thee, send me good speed this day, and show kindness to my master Avraham.”
And again after speaking to Rebekah
Hearing this, the man (Eliezer) bowed his head and prostrated himself to GOD. He said, “Blessed be GOD, God of my master Abraham, who has not withheld His kindness and truth from my master. GOD has guided me along the right road, to the house of my master’s brothers!”
Reading this, I think that this is a perfect example of emunah d’Rebbe. Abraham has communicated the Divine will of God, giving a surprisingly harsh word and a hard task to his lifelong trusted servant. Eliezer, in turn, searches for benefit in these words and uncovers at the well the missing element of Chesed.
Reading this, I also think Poor Noach! He was a truly righteous man, a Tzaddik, but the unfiltered brilliance of God was too much and he was born too early, before Abraham’s covenant and before the Torah. There was nothing to soften the blinding light of the Divine will. Here too, a harsh word given with love and kindness might have drawn more people to the ark, saving him in the longer run from the vineyard and from all that ensued thereafter.